The Mystery of the Blacklist

#25/1091.

The Mystery of the Blacklist – A eulogy for Francis – and for everyone who didn’t fit the script.

by Chef Tom Voigt

R.I.P. Francis

In the belly of almost every boat, deep down in a dark bilge, hangs a board. Cracked by brackish seawater, reeking of rot. It sways with the rhythm of the waves, lost in the half-light, among crates, sour wine, and the luggage of crews long gone overboard, never found, never spoken of again. There it dangles: the Blacklist.
Yes, it exists. No myth, no rosy tale from Antibes. Real, rusty, indelible. And as true as McDonald’s food being crap, Francis’s name is on it.
Francis, born in the late sixties. Survivor of his own abortion attempt—his mother tried to get rid of him, no chance. A fighter before he was even human. His father did the rest, beating him through childhood. Until the day Francis turned sixteen. The old man raised his fist again, and Francis hit back. A dry hook, precise like his cooking would later be. Father on the floor, son packed his bag and disappeared.
He landed in a kitchen. In the eighties that meant hard school. A master took him in, a mentor who taught him that cooking was war, that knives weren’t just to be cleaned but sharpened, that timing ruled everything. Francis absorbed it. Twenty years in restaurants followed. Discipline, heat, sweat. Plates leaving the pass like clockwork. No gimmicks, no Instagram towers. Just craft. He loved it. The kitchen was home, ring, battlefield.
And still, something was missing.
In the early nineties he sat in his grandparents’ bar when an old captain with yellow fingers and rum breath spoke to him. “Crossing,” he said. Spain to Antigua. “Need a chef.” Francis barely knew what a crossing was, but he said yes. Weeks later he stood on a 60-meter yacht. VHS instead of Netflix. Dolphins instead of Instagram. Books instead of endless swipe chatter. Cooking, waves, sun. Silence. Freedom and calm, sea, fire, and his craft. Francis knew: this was his place.
Yachting in the nineties was different. People read books, real ones. Crew parties smelled of rum, not detox teas. Gluten-free? Nobody had heard of it. Vegan deckhands? Not even born yet. Instead of smoothie culture, there were real talks, real jokes, real fights. Francis fit in like the drum solo in In the Air Tonight.
He rose quickly. Owners loved him: charming, precise, flawless in front of guests. A butler in a chef’s jacket. Polyglot, five languages, a professional who shone in the cosmopolitan circus without ever begging for approval. Engineers respected him because he had no arrogance. Captains with balls tolerated him.
But the stews? A disaster. For Francis they were chickens. Two courses, a certificate in champagne pouring, and suddenly they thought they were queens of the seven seas. They knew nothing about gastronomy but carried themselves like monarchs. Francis called them backpackers in uniform. And he said it out loud—and laughed.
Too loud.
One day his name was on the blacklist. Not written, not stored. Carved into the belly of the industry. And there it stayed. But Francis didn’t care.
The truth: he was too old, too honest, too much of a pro. In a world that suddenly wanted selfies.
After 2000 the industry got washed out. Captains with smoothie cups. Crews who knew more about iPhone filters than sails. Influencers in uniform. All chasing followers, all dopamine junkies, all traveling the world like snobby tourists. Foreign languages? Cosmopolitan manners? Only left on the cocktail menu.
Francis shook his head and laughed. He was the hybrid analog artisan, and in his fifties already dismissed as a dinosaur. He mastered cooking, he could talk, he could stay silent. He could stand before an owner family like a butler, a gentleman, immaculate. But he couldn’t pretend a broken galley was a “small problem.” He couldn’t smile while the oven in a multimillion-dollar operation went cold.
And that was the problem. On yachts you weren’t allowed to be angry. You had to grin like a sheep. No matter if the kitchen was burning. Francis was no sheep. He was a wolf.
He exploded when the equipment failed. He cursed when the service was off. He laughed bitterly when the galley was patched together again like a bone after its third fracture. That earned him the stamp: Drama.
Drama means unfit. Drama means career over.
The irony: he was no drama. He was a pro. Twenty years in restaurants, discipline, precision. But professionalism in the yacht world is only welcome when it’s sugarcoated. Be too honest and you’re out.
And Francis was out.
Many say the blacklist is a myth. Bullshit. It exists. No paper, no registry. Just calls, whispers, emails. An invisible executioner.
Francis wasn’t alone. Whole generations vanished. Chefs, officers, deckhands. Pros with mortgages, families, children. And suddenly: silence. No calls. No jobs. House gone. Wife gone. Future gone.
The blacklist is a guillotine without blood. Quiet, but deadly.
And where there’s shadow, there’s light. The white list. A secret club of friends and pros, invisible. That’s where the survivors are. Not the best chefs, not the best people. Just the best players. The ones who know when to shut up, when to crawl.
Names on that list get the calls, the superyachts, the contracts. Those not on it can have ten thousand Instagram followers—still ends up cooking pasta on 20-meter wrecks.
Francis was never on the white list. He didn’t play. He lived.
After eighteen years it was over. No more calls. The blacklist had swallowed him. Francis moved north, back into restaurants. Plates instead of Instagram. Guests instead of followers. But the system had left its scars.
Cancer. A long, cruel death.
Francis wrote until the end. Cynical, sharp, merciless. His notes said:
– Yachting isn’t a career ladder. It’s an offshore service job.
– Anyone who thinks they’re climbing is only falling harder.
– After yachting, there’s rarely glory. Just debt, divorce papers, no pension.
He wrote about the pretenders. Stews with certificates and selfie filters who replaced the pros. Captains who needed detox. Crews who collected milk varieties instead of experience.
Francis saw it all coming. He still laughed. But he knew: the blacklist is real.
He wasn’t a victim. He was a symbol. For everyone too honest, too old, too real. For the pros pushed out because the industry would rather book young plastic with Instagram profiles than seasoned craftsmen with gray hair.
The blacklist doesn’t erase names. It makes them immortal. Francis still hangs there, rusty, indelible. A warning. A monument, in some bilge, in the belly of a yacht.
And while up on deck the would-be queens with certificates and follower counts sip their champagne, the truth hangs below, in the dark.

Crew Focus in Mallorca

With Courtesy of Erica Lay & The Mallorca Bulletin. #25/1092.

Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com

The Sommelier at Sea: How Yachts Are Upping Their Wine Game

By Erica Lay

Yachting has always been synonymous with luxury, but in recent years, the emphasis on food and drink has reached new, grape-soaked heights. Gone are the days of dusty bottles and hurried guesses at what might pair with grilled lobster. Today, top-tier yachts have fully embraced sommelier-level wine service, transforming their cellars and expanding the horizons of both guests and crew.

“You can’t just chuck a few bottles of Dom and a magnum of rosé in the fridge and call it a day,” laughs Tasha, a chief stewardess with a WSET Level 3 qualification under her belt. “Guests want pairings. They want stories behind the wine. And they want it served at the perfect temperature while they eat langoustine on a beach in Formentera.”

Many yachts have climate-controlled wine cellars and dedicated wine fridges, carefully calibrated to maintain the integrity of rare vintages through crossings and summer heatwaves alike. On one 60m charter yacht, the chief stewardess even collaborated with the designers during build to install gimballed shelving that prevents sediment disturbance in rough seas.

“It was either that or explain to a billionaire why his 1982 Mouton Rothschild tasted like soup,” she shrugs.

This evolution isn’t just about better storage. It’s about elevating the entire guest experience. Yacht chefs and interior crew are increasingly taking sommelier courses, working with wine consultants, and visiting local vineyards while docked in places like Mallorca and Menorca. Local sourcing has become a cornerstone of wine service onboard, and not just for cost efficiency. Guests love the story of the vineyard owner who hand-picks each grape, especially when they’re sipping that very wine on deck at sunset.

“We did a pairing dinner with wines from Binissalem last season,” says Pedro, a yacht chef from mainland Spain who spent a week visiting bodegas during the Palma winter refit. “The guests were blown away. They’d never heard of Mantonegro, and suddenly it was their favourite grape. Honestly I thought I knew Spanish wines but I was happy to be corrected — there’s a lot more to experience than Rioja!”

Bodegas like Biniagual, José L. Ferrer, and Can Axartell have become go-to sources for yachts wanting something hyper-local, while Son Mayol and Bodega Ribas offer full-on experiences for guests who want to dive deeper into the island’s wine scene. Some crews are now collaborating with Wine Industry Mallorca, a company that curates private tastings, vineyard visits, and cellar stocking with a strong focus on boutique producers and organic methods.

The challenge? Training and turnover. Not every stew joins the industry with a deep knowledge of vintages, tannins, or the difference between malo and Merlot. But many yachts are now bringing in onboard trainers or offering wine tasting sessions during their summer season cruising around different countries in the Mediterranean. In the world of high-end service, knowing your Montrachet from your Macabeo can be the difference between good and unforgettable.

“It’s not just about wine snobbery,” Tasha insists. “It’s about confidence. When you’re handing a guest a €5,000 bottle, you want to know you’ve got it right.”

And it doesn’t stop with the whites and reds. There’s growing demand for orange wines, low-intervention bottles, and even organic Mallorcan vermouth. Craft is in, and superyachts are expected to keep up.

“Guests are increasingly curious about natural and biodynamic wines,” notes Luca, a steward who recently completed his WSET Level 2. “They want to explore beyond the classic labels, and it’s our job to help guide them through that journey.”

Another trend? Wine experiences as part of the charter itself.

“Last summer we arranged a private vineyard tour and tasting in Alaró for a guest who wanted something truly local,” says Anna, a chief stewardess. “We even stocked the yacht with bottles from the same vineyard for the rest of the week. It was a hit.”

Training opportunities have expanded to meet this demand. Institutions like Onshore Cellars offer WSET Levels 2 and 3 courses tailored for yacht crew, providing comprehensive education in wine styles, service, and pairing.

“Taking the WSET course was a game-changer for me,” says Emily, a junior stewardess. “It gave me the knowledge and confidence to discuss wines with guests and make informed recommendations.”

Some yachts are collaborating with wine suppliers who offer bespoke training sessions onboard, ensuring the crew stays updated with the latest trends and techniques in wine service. Others are experimenting with digital wine lists and pairing apps that help match cellar stock with daily menus, a high-tech touch that’s proving surprisingly useful.

Whether it’s a bespoke wine pairing under the stars or a story-rich bottle from a local vineyard, the wine game at sea is no longer an afterthought.

It’s a performance — and the crew are nailing their lines, one perfectly poured glass at a time.

The Great Mediterranean Circus of Yachting

By Chef Luis Rafael Hurtado. #25/1086.

Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, welcome to the Mediterranean — the greatest circus afloat.

Not the Cirque du Soleil, mind you, but a clown show where the ringmasters are captains with PTSD, the brokers are snake-oil salesmen, and the audience is an owner who thought buying a 50-meter yacht was the same as adding a pool to the backyard.

Let’s start with the brokers, shall we? These magicians in polo shirts and fake tans sell yachts like used cars, conveniently forgetting to mention that owning a yacht is not like buying a condo in Monaco.

Surprise. It’s a floating business — with engines, hydraulics, and twenty exhausted humans that require food, sleep, and a salary that doesn’t resemble an insult. But no, they whisper sweet nothings to the owner:

“You’ll host glamorous parties, eat Michelin-star dinners, and sail into sunsets.”

They forget to add:

“…on the back of an unpaid, underfed, underslept crew who will eventually plot your murder with a butter knife.”

Then come the owners. Some lovely. Some absolutely clueless.

Owning a yacht does not mean you know how to run one.

You wouldn’t buy a hospital and then try to perform open-heart surgery, but somehow, you think running a vessel with international regulations, visas, and safety codes is easier than programming a microwave.

And when things go wrong (and they always do), the first people blamed are not the brokers who lied, but the poor crew trying to MacGyver miracles out of duct tape, prayer, and broken promises.

Crew rest? Please.

Rest is treated like a mythical creature — something you read about in books but never see in real life.

God forbid a crew member takes a nap.

The owner might think they’re lazy, when in reality, they’ve been awake for twenty hours making your foie gras foam while also unclogging your toilet.

Now let’s talk salaries and day rates.

Somewhere along the line, the industry decided to normalize peasant wages for highly skilled professionals.

Chefs are expected to plate like Alain Ducasse on a Taco Bell budget.

Engineers are supposed to rebuild engines overnight with chewing gum and zip ties.

Stews have to smile through abuse while folding your underwear into origami swans.

And the cherry on top? Exposure.

Exposure doesn’t pay rent, Karen.

So yes, the Med has become the ultimate floating disaster.

Harassment, burnout, contracts treated like confetti, crew stranded in random ports with no pay, captains imploding, owners exploding.

The whole circus is alive and well.

But here’s the plot twist: it doesn’t have to be this way.

This industry can be extraordinary when people respect it.

When brokers tell owners the truth.

When owners understand that running a yacht is not a hobby, but a responsibility.

When management companies prioritize human beings over invoices.

When crew are given rest, proper food, and the dignity they deserve.

Because beneath the sarcasm, there’s still love for the sea, for the adventure, for the camaraderie that keeps us here despite the madness.

If we start holding people accountable, demanding better standards, and treating each other like professionals — not circus clowns — then maybe, just maybe, we’ll stop juggling chaos and start sailing into the future we all deserve.

Until then, keep your helmets, life jackets, and sense of humor close at hand.

Crew Focus in Mallorca

With Courtesy of Erica Lay & The Mallorca Bulletin. #25/1085.

Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com

𝑫𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆: 𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝑩𝒐𝒔𝒖𝒏

By Erica Lay

𝟬𝟲:𝟬𝟬 – Coffee & Contemplation

Awake before sunrise. Not out of virtue, just stress. Pour instant coffee into my reusable water bottle because the stews have commandeered all the mugs again already. Check the deckhand roster, the to-do list, and the weather. Realise the only thing more unpredictable than the forecast is the junior deckhand’s ability to coil a line.

𝟬𝟳:𝟬𝟬 – Washdown Supervision (and Existential Oversight)

Deckhands are already scrubbing the bow like their lives depend on it. One is polishing the cap rail in a circular motion. We’ve been over this. I correct him with the kind of dead-eyed calm only caffeine and trauma can produce. The junior deckhand asks if we can “just use a pressure washer on the varnish.” I smile. He’ll learn. Deckhand 3 asks if we “really have to rinse the salt off every day.” I say no. Just every day we want the boat not to dissolve.

𝟬𝟴:𝟭𝟱 – The First Crisis of the Day

Chief stew radios in: “The guest thinks the kayak smells weird.” Deckie 2 looks panic-stricken. I tell him to Febreze it and act like it’s normal. Because on this boat? It is.

𝟬𝟴:𝟮𝟱 – The Second Crisis of the Day

I ask who used the stainless polish on the cushions. No one makes eye contact. I now understand how substitute teachers feel.

𝟬𝟵:𝟯𝟬 – Toy Time

Break out the tender, SeaBobs, SUPs, and enough inflatables to qualify us as a bouncy castle company. I supervise while the junior deckie fumbles with a lashing strap like it’s a Rubik’s Cube made of elastic.

𝟭𝟬:𝟰𝟱 – Training Time (aka Herding Cats)

Try to run a knot-tying session. Deckhand 3 asks if he can “just watch a YouTube video instead.” I pause long enough to make them uncomfortable, then carry on. They’ll thank me when they’re trying to tie a bowline in 40 knots in front of guests whilst crying inside.

𝟭𝟮:𝟯𝟬 – Lunch and Logistics

The chef offers “crew salad.” That’s code for lettuce, rage, and the lingering shame of yesterday’s pizza. I eat half, pretend I’m full, and then write up tomorrow’s deck job list while staring out the porthole like a prisoner in a luxury jail.

𝟭𝟰:𝟬𝟬 – Supervised Polishing (Emotional and Physical)

Time to teach the team the art of stainless without streaks. Deckie 1 uses half a bottle of polish on a single handrail. Deckie 2 is polishing a stanchion that doesn’t exist. Deckie 3 is missing. I find him rearranging fenders to “make them look vibey.” I die a little inside.

𝟭𝟲:𝟬𝟬 – The Anchor Ballet

Guests want to move the boat “just a little” for the sunset view. Anchor up. Anchor down. My radio explodes with questions like “Is this good?” No. It never is. But we move anyway because the boss saw a dolphin, and now we’re chasing a National Geographic moment.

𝟭𝟵:𝟬𝟬 – The Beanbag Ordeal

We set up for sundowners on the bow. The wind picks up. A beanbag hits a guest in the face. Everyone looks at me like I summoned it. I swear I didn’t. I wish I had that kind of power. A guest asks what I actually do all day and if working on a yacht is “like being on an endless holiday”. I answer with a laugh that sounds suspiciously hysterical.

𝟭𝟴:𝟯𝟬 – When the Sun Goes Down

A guest asks me what time the sunset starts. I point at the sky, and tell them “when the sun starts to go down.” They nod like I’ve revealed a deep maritime secret.

𝟭𝟵:𝟬𝟬 – Evening Checks and Barely Contained Despair

Run the deck checks, tie a perfect cleat hitch (to show off), and fix the flagpole that Deckie 2 somehow dislodged while “adjusting the ensign height for aesthetic balance.” I make a note to revoke his access to adjectives.

𝟮𝟬:𝟯𝟬 – Night Mode Engaged

The deck crew eat a late dinner in five minutes of silence broken only by someone whispering, “I can’t feel my hands.” I tell a joke. No one laughs. Deckie 1 says “Ok Boomer.” I’m 27. Good times. I live for these bonding moments.

𝟮𝟯:𝟬𝟬 – Day’s End. Kind of.

Final check of the toys, the lines, the fenders, and my sanity. Realise I’ve walked 14,000 steps and achieved inner peace through sheer repetition. Tomorrow: same chaos, different stains.

𝟬𝟬:𝟬𝟬 – Lights Out

Lay in bed wondering if I remembered to tie off the tender’s secondary mooring line. Decide I probably did. Fall asleep halfway through the mental checklist. Dream of a crew that understands chamois technique and respects the beanbags.

Let me know if you’d like a companion visual, crew illustration, or social media version of this diary—this deserves to go viral.

Crew Focus in Mallorca

With Courtesy of Erica Lay & The Mallorca Bulletin. #25/1080.

Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com

Part 2: Small Marinas, Big Charm – More Under-30m Gems in Mallorca

Last week we checked out some great options for marinas offering lovely surroundings and excellent services for vessels under 30m, but we really only scratched the surface. Let’s check out a few more tucked-away favourites around the island.

Real Club Nàutic Port de Pollença (RCNPP)

Location: North Coast | Max Length: 25m | Draft: 3m | Berths: 375

Heading north, RCNPP is a more laid-back sibling to the busier Alcudia. Located in a wide bay loved by sailors and windsurfers, this marina has a welcoming, unhurried feel. There’s a good mix of services, a decent shipyard if you need repairs, and the town is refreshingly unspoilt.

  • Local tip: Grab fresh bread and pastries from the legendary Formentor bakery and picnic along the pine-shaded promenade.
  • Dinner pick: Stay – part restaurant, part institution, right on the water.
  • Want more culture? Take a short trip inland to the charming town of Pollença.

Porto Petro

Location: South-East | Max Length: 25m (RCNP), 12m (Puerto) | Draft: 3m+ | Berths: 200+

Tiny but mighty, Porto Petro is one of the island’s most picturesque mini-marinas. The vibe? Quiet luxury. Think well-heeled locals, no loud beach clubs, and a calm bolt-hole vibe for those wanting to slip under the radar.

  • Eat here: Restaurante Norai is a local favourite.
  • Explore: Walk to Mondragó Natural Park for a peaceful swim in protected crystal-clear waters—well away from the jet ski brigade.

The Real Club Náutico Portopetro accommodates up to 25m vessels, whereas the adjacent Puerto de Porto Petro handles yachts up to 12m.

Port d’Andratx

Location: South-West | Max Length: ~30m | Draft: ~4m

While Puerto Portals steals headlines with designer boutiques and Bentley-lined docks, Andratx offers scenic beauty, solid facilities, and a mellow, slow-living vibe that makes you forget what an email inbox even is.

  • Dinner options:
    • Oliu for something elegant
    • Bar Central for a proper, no-frills menú del día
  • It’s also a great base for exploring Mallorca’s wilder western coast.

Colònia de Sant Jordi

Location: South Coast | Max Length: ~20-25m | Quiet Marina

Once a humble fishing village, Colònia de Sant Jordi has grown into a laid-back stopover with easy access to some of Mallorca’s best beaches, including the iconic Es Trenc.

  • Seaside stroll: The promenade here is perfect at sunset.
  • Sundowner spot: Cassai Beach House has atmosphere in spades.

The marina is small but peaceful—and often overlooked by those heading to louder ports.

Cala Ratjada

Location: North-East | Max Length: ~25m | Solid Facilities

Yes, it’s popular with northern European tourists, but don’t write it off. The harbour area is pretty, the facilities are solid, and the surrounding coastline hides many coves to explore by tender.

  • Eat here: Ca’n Maya – excellent grilled fish and a view of the working harbour.
  • Worth the detour: Hidden calas and sea caves just around the corner.

⚠️ 

Remember:

 Book Ahead!

As mentioned last week—the bigger your yacht, the more you need to plan ahead. The joy of these smaller marinas is that they’ll often try to squeeze you in… whereas Palma might laugh you off the phone if you didn’t book seven months ago.

Worst case scenario? Drop anchor in one of the nearby bays and tender in for dinner. Speaking of anchorages…

Stay Tuned for Part 3:

🚤 Our Guide to Mallorca’s Best Anchorages – dropping next week!

The Girls In The Grey

Yachting Culture #25/1060.

SUPERYACHT ENGINEERS – PART II

The Girls in the Grey: Not your stew. Not your fantasy. Just your last line of defence.

By Chef Tom Voigt

Some guests mistake them for a junior stew…

“Oh how sweet, she’s helping clean the engine room!”

No darling.

She is the engineer.

She’s not helping.

She’s fixing the thing that keeps your rosé cold and your toilet flushing at 3am.

Let’s be clear:

She didn’t fall into engineering because she likes overalls.

She’s here because she’s good.

And because someone needs to crawl through the bilge like a mouse in the shadows to save your sorry weekend from becoming a rescue op.

They call her a unicorn.

They mean it as a compliment.

But really?

She’s more like a Phoenix—

Rising from the ashes of burnt wiring and broken fuel pumps—

Only to show up two hours later in a dress and heels that make the deckhands forget their own names.

She wears high heels that whisper “boardroom” but stomp like “bilge pump.”

Slight hint of diesel.

Heavy notes of don’t even try me.

She disappears like Batman into the underworld of the yacht—

Silent, unseen, deep into the steaming guts of steel, wires, and diesel.

No one noticed…

And then,

She strolls back to our table—flawless, in a dress like a weapon.

Winks without a word and orders a bloody steak.

She sips a very dry martini.

As if nothing had happened.

And maybe nothing had.

Just a minor leak.

Or the beginning of the end.

By day, she’s as precise and versatile as a Navy SEAL, a Swiss Army knife.

When night falls, she’s pure Marly Delina.

Yes, she drinks.

Yes, she swears.

Yes, she can strip a watermaker faster than you can Google “why is my engine smoking.”

She can tell a lie from a pump by ear.

She knows the generators better than her ex.

And she will, without a doubt, drink you under the table on a Tuesday—

Then fix the stabilisers on Wednesday while you nurse your ego and a hangover.

She doesn’t post selfies from the engine room.

Not because she couldn’t.

But because she doesn’t have time for your vanity metrics.

She’s busy keeping the boat alive.

And no, she doesn’t need a hashtag for that.

At crew dinner, she arrives late.

Not because she’s slow.

But because she was still inside a fan belt when you were choosing your shirt.

And when she walks in, smelling faintly of hand soap and heaven—

Everyone goes silent.

Deckhands suddenly find their manners.

Stews take notes.

The captain adjusts his posture.

She doesn’t demand attention.

She is attention.

She is not your dream girl.

She is your emergency contact.

She’s not one of the boys.

She’s not one of the girls.

She’s one of the gods.

And while you wonder how her lipstick stayed on during a coolant flush,

She’s already down in the bilge again—

Saving your trip,

Your pride,

And your engines.

Because real engineering doesn’t care about gender.

But it’s about time yachting started to.

#Yachtgasm

#TheGirlInTheGrey

#DieselAndHighHeels

#SuperyachtPhoenix

#NoEngineerNoYacht

#TorqueMeTender

#GoddessOfTheBilge

#SheKnowsWhatThatNoiseWas

Crew Focus: Killer Instincts

With Courtesy of Erica Lay & The Mallorca Bulletin. #25/1061.

Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com

Killer Instincts: Why Are Orcas Targeting Yachts?

By Erica Lay

It sounds like something out of a nature docudrama: orcas, sleek and intelligent apex predators, seemingly developing a taste for yacht rudders. Nom nom. But for many sailors navigating the Bay of Biscay, the Portuguese coast, and down in the Gibraltar Strait, it’s become an increasingly serious concern. In recent years, dozens of incidents have been reported of orcas—also known as killer whales—ramming sailboats, damaging rudders, and in some cases, rendering vessels completely inoperable.

So what’s going on? Are orcas just having a bit of fun? Are they playing, hunting, protesting, or perhaps just showing off to their mates? Theories abound, and the truth might be somewhere in between.

“I was off the coast of Barbate when we felt the first hit,” says Tomás, a local skipper from Algeciras in the south of Spain. “At first I thought we’d struck debris. Then came the second blow, and I saw the fin. It was surreal. They weren’t aggressive exactly, but they weren’t shy either.”

Marine biologists suggest several possible explanations. Some believe the behaviour is playful—orcas are known for their curiosity and complex social interactions. Juvenile orcas, much like human teenagers, push boundaries regularly to see what they can and can’t get away with. Others argue that it’s a learned behaviour, perhaps triggered by a negative experience one whale had with a rudder, which is now being copied and taught to others.

So could this behaviour be, in fact, revenge? In 2020, a juvenile orca known as White Gladis was reportedly injured by a boat. Since then, attacks have increased in the region. While no one can confirm a direct connection, the idea of a retaliatory movement among whales has captured public imagination—and the headlines.

“They’re not out to get us,” says one anonymous yacht captain. “But they are smart, they know where the rudder is, and they’re not just bumping the hull for fun. It’s deliberate. They seem to know what they’re aiming for and I’ll be honest, it’s unnerving.”

That’s one way to describe it. All sounds a bit Jaws 4, doesn’t it?

Some orcas appear to go straight for the kill—well, the steering, anyway—snapping rudders off in minutes. Others simply circle the yacht, poke and prod with their noses, or slap their tails. No two encounters seem to be exactly alike, which only adds to the intrigue and anxiety.

Meanwhile, sailors are being urged not to panic. Marine organisations have published guidelines for what to do during an orca encounter:

  • Slow down
  • Disengage the autopilot
  • Don’t shout or bang on the hull

Essentially: don’t give them a reaction.

(We’ll talk more about this next week, but that’s easier said than done when your helm suddenly stops working mid-crossing.)

One charter skipper out of Cádiz recalled a particularly tense encounter:

“They stayed with us for over an hour. Just circling, nudging. One of them gave the rudder a solid knock and then drifted off. It was like it was testing us—seeing how we’d respond.”

Whether it’s teenage rebellion or strategic sabotage, the orcas have become a talking point from marina bars to marine biology labs.

At the end of the day, we’re in their backyard—so is this something we just have to put up with?

A spokesperson from Sea Shepherd France thinks so:

“We are just their guests. This is their home. We are passing through.”

For now, the phenomenon remains largely a mystery. Researchers are calling for calm and cooperation between sailors and scientists. Efforts are underway to track the orcas’ behaviour, while sailing associations are advising yachts to avoid certain hotspots and to sail in groups when possible. Some even suggest carrying decoy rudders or noise deterrents—though the long-term efficacy of these methods is still up for debate.

In the meantime, crew operating in known orca zones are keeping their fingers crossed—and their rudders reinforced.

“You respect the ocean, and you respect the animals in it,” says a small sailboat owner who was recently targeted. “But if they’re going to start dismantling our boats piece by piece, we’ll need more than respect. We’ll need a plan.”

Stay tuned for Part Two: How to Deal with Orca Encounters.

The Superyacht Engineer

Yachting Culture #25/1059.

Superyacht Engineer – ain´t ghost in the bilge, but god of the boat

by Chef Tom Voigt

Some guests on a luxury yacht will always say to the chef:
“Ah, here she/he is – the most important person on the boat.”

Oh, right. The guests on a superyacht see the chef as the absolute pinnacle of their luxurious existence. Because clearly, in a world of multi-million-dollar floating palaces, surrounded by 360-degree ocean views, heli decks, jet skis, mirrored ceilings and seven crew per toothbrush…
It’s the guy (or girl) doing the foie gras reduction that’s holding the ship together.

Because obviously, without the chef, they’d starve.
In a floating fridge with ten kinds of caviar and a freezer packed like Fort Knox.

True words.
But wait a minute.

Let’s talk about the guy no one talks about.

Somewhere below deck, past the polite smiles and perfumed cabins, there’s a man.
You won’t see him at the welcome drinks.
He’s not on the beach.
He’s not part of the white-polo-and-Ray-Ban department.

No tan. No shine.
Just oil under the nails and the face of someone who’s crawled inside a fuel filter because no one else would.

They call him the engineer.
Most rookies call him “the weird guy downstairs.”
To the rest, he’s just the one who makes sure this floating palace doesn’t turn into a floating blackout.

Some say he sleeps too much.
Some say he’s basically a ghost, living like a banished mechanic in the bowels of the yacht.
And some green deckhand is always making jokes about “the guy on the sofa.”

Yeah. That guy.
The one who hasn’t slept in three days because the shore power shorted in Naples and the battery charger caught fire.
The one who’s replaced a raw water impeller mid-storm while the captain was on TikTok.
The one who knows the sound of every pump – and when they’re lying.

The truth is:
He’s invisible until something breaks.
And then he’s suddenly the most important person on board.
More important than the chef.
More important than the captain.
More important than whoever brought the champagne.

You think this yacht runs on sunshine and Instagram likes?
Try skipping a day without him.

No engineer = no toilets.
No engineer = no aircon.
No engineer = no cold rosé in Porto Cervo.
No engineer = you stuck at anchor, staring at a dead dashboard while the guests ask why the jacuzzi’s cold.

And yes – sometimes he naps.
Because he works 20 hours a day.
Because he hasn’t had a proper shower in a week.
Because he just climbed inside a generator exhaust duct to fix something that should’ve been replaced 5 years ago.

The sofa he sleeps on?
It’s not a bed.
It’s a battlefield.
And it smells like diesel, despair, and quiet competence.

You want to know how I know all this?

Because in my 15+ years of yachting, working with over 98% of the engineers on board was not just functional – it was the best part of it.
Real friendship. Real respect.
Still is.
Still proud of every engine room laugh, emergency repair, and deadpan joke at 4am.

Because if there’s one crew member who really keeps it all going,
one who doesn’t just look like a legend but actually is one…

…it’s that strange, invisible man downstairs.
The engineer.

#Yachtgasm #TheManBelow #DieselOverDrama #SuperyachtEngineer #GhostOfTheEngineRoom #NoEngineerNoYacht #YachtRealityUnfiltered

Always On, Always Behind

With Courtesy of Erica Lay &#25/1058.

Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com

Always On, Always Behind: The Social Media Pressure Cooker for Superyacht Crew

There was a time when being a good crew member meant showing up, staying switched on, and keeping your uniform clean-ish. (Depending on department. Free tip: don’t give engineers a white shirt.) You worked hard, earned your stripes, and if the season was good, maybe clocked up a decent tip or three, a bit of a tan, and a few cracking stories to tell at the crew bar.

These days? It’s not enough to just, well, be good, you have to look good doing it, post about it, hashtag it, and somehow be building a lucrative side hustle in your downtime too.

Welcome to the age of chronic overachievement, fuelled by social media and filtered through the lens of highly curated yacht life. And make no mistake, it’s taking a toll on crew morale, expectations, and mental health.

The Cult of Comparison: Everyone’s Yacht Life Looks Better Than Yours

Social media has always been a highlight reel, but in yachting, that reel comes with superyachts, designer sunglasses, endless magnums of Minuty and Miravall, and sunsets off the Amalfi Coast. It’s a potent cocktail of envy and ambition. Scroll through any crew feed and you’ll see the same themes: jaw-dropping destinations, generous guest tips, and photogenic crew, bonding in exotic places.

What you don’t see are the back-to-back boss trips and charters with no time to breathe in between, the 18-hour days, the engineer crying in the laundry room over a broken steamer, or the deckhand trying to patch a tender in 40-degree Mediterranean heat while hungover and mildly concussed after last night’s sleep deprived stumble into the door frame coming off a 3am watch. You don’t see any of the toxic crew politics, the broken sleep, the high season panic attacks, or the quiet fear that they’re not doing enough, or simply being enough.

This constant, controlled and thoughtfully edited stream of other people’s “yacht life” creates a distorted sense of what success actually looks like. You start questioning why your own experience doesn’t match the vibe. Why you’re not working on a 90m with a beauty fridge and a Brazilian masseuse who’s happy to spend her time massaging crew (as IF), why you’re not getting tips in envelopes thick enough to stand up on their own, why you haven’t yet been flown to Dubai on a private jet just because the guest liked your face and thought you’d be fun to shop with.

All this storytelling fuels a subtle but relentless anxiety: the idea that if you’re not constantly moving forward – higher rank, bigger boat, flashier itinerary, heftier tips, more famous guests – you’re somehow falling behind. And it doesn’t help that the more stylised the posts become, the less you feel like your reality is valid or worth sharing.

Hustle Culture Hits the High Seas

It’s not enough to just do your job well anymore. Excellence is expected, and then some. These days, crew are expected to be multi-hyphenates: stewardesses doubling as yoga instructors, masseuses, hairdressers, nail techs and nutritionists, deckhands who can shoot and edit drone footage, whilst teaching kitesurfing, diving, and are e foil pros, engineers offering crypto tips over dinner, and chefs conjuring up tasting menus whilst simultaneously churning out TikToks from a galley the size of a shoebox.

Side hustles used to be something you picked up after the season. Think more of an exit strategy for life after yachting. Now they’re practically a crew trait. These extra gigs have become a badge of ambition worn with pride (and just a hint of panic). There’s pressure to monetise your hobbies, turn every skill into a service, and somehow “build your brand” while doing turndowns and fighting mould in the guest showers. If someone had said to a yacht crew ten years ago “what’s your brand” they’d probably have said “Marlboro Lights?” and wandered off, slightly bemused, to get another beer out of the eski. The times, well they be a changin’.

But here’s the thing no one’s saying: most crew are already maxed out. After crazy long days on charter, you’re lucky if you have enough cognitive function left to get a sandwich from a plate to your face without giving yourself a black eye, let alone crack on with your design of a passive income stream. The expectation to constantly do more in your spare time creates a creeping sense of inadequacy. Like if you’re not side-hustling, upskilling, or posting about your growth journey (oh please), you’re somehow lazy or falling behind your peer group. You’re failing at life. Can’t we just have a kip? Chat with a friend? Doomscroll funny dog videos until we nod off and drop the phone on our face?

And while ambition is great, the constant push to “add value” or “upskill” (hello again, LinkedIn buzzwords) is frankly just exhausting. There’s a fine line between healthy progression and a quiet identity crisis. You can only chase the illusion of having it all (at once) for so long before you crash.

Rest is no longer seen as recovery. It’s seen as wasted time. And in yachting, where burnout already simmers just beneath the surface, that mindset is an extremely slippery slope.

The Below Deck Delusion

We can’t talk about distorted expectations without addressing the big fat elephant in the room: Below Deck. On paper, it’s been a PR dream, right? They’re bringing the superyacht industry to a global audience, sparking interest in maritime careers, and providing endless “what not to do” material for green crew.

But let’s be honest… it’s also warped the industry’s image beyond recognition.

Remember the days when you could say to someone at home, “I work on a superyacht” and they’d look at you like you’d grown a second head and have absolutely no idea what that even meant? Good times. That was the golden era, when working on a billionaire’s floating gin palace held a delicious sense of mystery and magic.

Now? Say those same words and the reply is instant: “Oh right, like Below Deck.” And you have to fight every fibre of your being not to punch them in the face and scream, “No! It’s NOTHING like Below Deck!”.

Thanks to our friends at Bravo, new crew arrive expecting drama, chaos, designer uniforms, instant fame, and six-figure tips for getting out of bed. Meanwhile, the new-money Below-Deck-fan-guests show up assuming their charter includes flirtatious stews, shirtless deckhands, crew sexscapades, tears, tantrums and a guaranteed meltdown over dinner service. Nightly. The line between scripted television and real-life professionalism has become alarmingly blurry.

But here’s the truth: most of us aren’t throwing wine glasses or storming off docks. Even if we want to. And sometimes, we really, really want to. Instead, we’re quietly managing rotas, battling provisioning logistics, and praying the stabilisers hold through the lunch main course. There’s no theme music. No confessional interviews. Just long hours, hard work, and the occasional war with a vacuum cleaner/Thermomix/bow thruster/generator etc.

Below Deck sells disorder as normality, and glamorises a version of yachting that prioritises performance over professionalism. Worse still, it feeds into the social media cycle, because now normal crew feel the expectation to make their own life look just as outrageous, successful, and story-worthy in order to satisfy their social media audience and stay relevant online.

The reality? The best crew are usually the least dramatic. They don’t need camera angles or cocktail-fuelled conflict. They just quietly deliver exceptional service and keep the yacht, and the team, running like a beautifully understated Swiss watch.

Burnout in the Age of Overachievement

When every time you pick up your phone to have a little mindless scroll the algorithm delivers you the brutal message that everyone else is doing better than you are, looking sexier, earning more, or climbing the social and career ladders faster, it’s no wonder crew are feeling the strain. It’s not just the physical exhaustion of the job, it’s the mental weight of not measuring up to a moving target that doesn’t even really exist.

We’re talking about a deep, creeping, niggly fatigue that doesn’t go away with sleep. That tight feeling in your chest when you open Instagram on a rough week and see another stew living her heavily filtered “dream charter life” with tip envelopes (#sograteful), perfect lighting, and inspirational captions. You were proud of how you handled that last bossy charter guest, but now you’re questioning if you’re even doing enough.

That’s the thing about overachievement culture, it’s a nasty little beast that’s never satisfied. The goalposts move. The dopamine hits wear off. Eventually, even your wins stop feeling like wins when you’re in a constant battle of comparison.

Burnout used to be the result of long hours and intense pressure. Now it’s compounded by digital noise and the need to keep up, not just professionally, but publicly. And because we work in a world where perception can equal opportunity, there’s even more drive to play the part.

The result? Crew who are highly capable but secretly crumbling. Exhausted, anxious, and stuck in a loop of comparison and self-doubt, all while posting beach photos and pretending they’re fine.

Burnout isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet. It’s the feeling of not caring anymore. Dreading your next trip, even though this is the job you always wanted. Wondering if you’re cut out for it, just because you’re not smiling for the camera or launching your fifth personal venture while running on four hours’ sleep and half a can of dry shampoo.

It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to not be chasing a “next step” for once. And it’s okay to admit that the pressure isn’t just coming from the boss, it’s coming from the phone in your hand.

So… What Can We Do About It?

First off, we stop pretending.

We stop pretending that everyone is thriving. That every season is the best one yet. That if you’re not double-tasking your charter job and your side project and your personal brand, you’re somehow doing it wrong. That’s just not real life, and the longer we play along, the more pressure we pile on each other.

There’s power in being honest. In saying, “I’m knackered and I want to just lie on my bunk and binge watch a whole season of housewives on my day off.” Or “This job is amazing, but also it’s really hard and sometimes I want to scream.” There’s power in resisting the urge to filter every moment into something worth posting.

The best way to push back against hustle culture and chronic comparison? Value what you do, even if no one else sees it. If it doesn’t go on social media, did it even happen? Spoiler alert: yes, it absolutely did! There’s a real freedom in not posting everything online. Try it.

Also make sure to stop and find pride in the small wins. The well-packed guest suitcase. The avoided provisioning meltdown. The crewmate you quietly helped through a bad week (without posting a sad face selfie to tell everyone how you don’t want praise because you’re just being a good person #payitforward).

Success doesn’t always have to be loud, glamorous, or Instagrammable. Sometimes it looks like a clean uniform, a respectful team, and a good night’s sleep.

As an industry, we need to make space for crew to just be crew, not personal brands, not content creators, not constant performers. There’s nothing wrong with ambition. But ambition without rest, realism, and the occasional reality check? That’s just burnout with better lighting.

So, take the pressure off. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, least of all to a scrolling audience who don’t know the difference between back-to-back and a breakdown.

Work hard. Rest harder. And if you’re going to compare yourself to anyone, let it be the version of you that started out in this industry: green, nervous, and hopeful. Because you’ve come a long way. Even if you didn’t post about it.

A Burnt Out Memoir

Yachting Culture #25/1062.

“So Let Me Get This Straight…”

A Burnt-End Memoir in Real Time by Yours Truly Chef Raffie

So let me get this straight…

I just landed in Nice—a land known for rosé, regrets, and rejected provisioning invoices—when my WhatsApp lit up like a fryer fire:

“No money.”

“Guests arriving tomorrow.”

“No groceries.”

“Apartment cooking too?”

“Also we need lunch in 2 hours. Can you do gluten-free sushi? But also vegan. But also caviar.”

I am tired. I am hungry. I am already mildly regretting all my life choices.

How did I go from “chef” to underpaid culinary therapist with a side hustle in miracles?

I haven’t even seen the galley yet and I’m already expected to prep lunch, dinner, and somehow manifest a five-course welcome dinner—with no provisions, no budget, and no time.

Oh, and for the record? The last two chefs apparently escaped into the sunset, burned out, used up, and (if there’s any justice in this world) now running a taco stand in Bali.

When I finally step into the galley, it hits me.

I’m not entering a kitchen.

I’m entering a crime scene.

The place is wrecked.

The onions are half-chopped and crying harder than I am.

There’s a smell that can only be described as culinary PTSD.

There’s no petty cash. No provisioning card. No plan. No clue.

But somehow I’m the one expected to whip out soufflés, sushi rolls, and foie gras foam like I’m auditioning for Hell’s Kitchen: Yacht Edition.

And the cherry on top?

“Can you smile more?”

“Hospitality is the heart of yachting.”

Excuse me—what?

Hospitality? You mean pretending everything’s fine while crafting fine dining from an empty fridge, a wet sponge, and a stewardess asking if I’ve ‘started plating yet’?

And God forbid I ask for one day to prep.

One. Freaking. Day.

A single moment to breathe.

To clean up the galley battlefield.

To locate something that isn’t expired or suspiciously green.

To plan a menu with actual ingredients instead of summoning lunch from the ether like a culinary necromancer.

But no.

Apparently, asking for a prep day is a diva move.

I’m not here to cook—I’m here to perform miracles.

So here I stand:

Eye twitching.

Hands trembling.

Holding a can of energy drink in one hand and an empty packet of vegan cheese in the other.

And quietly asking myself:

“Do I cry now or wait until service?”

💡 

The Moment of Clarity

I didn’t scream.

I didn’t throw a ramekin.

I didn’t set the galley on fire and fake my own death (…tempting though).

Instead, I took a deep breath, wrote this story in my head, and realized:

  • A day to prep isn’t diva behavior. It’s basic fing logistics*.
  • Communication isn’t a luxury. It’s the difference between Michelin stars and meltdown scars.
  • And most importantly: I’m a chef, not a one-man cruise ship food court.

🙌 Final Thoughts for My Fellow Galley Gladiators

You are not crazy.

You are not failing.

You are not ungrateful.

The industry is just drunk on its own delusions and expecting us to clean up the mess without even handing us a mop.

So if you’re feeling the pressure…

If you’re holding back the scream…

If someone just handed you a lemon and asked for a tasting menu—

I see you. You’re not alone.

Now go pour yourself a glass of wine. Or a triple espresso.

Or whatever keeps you from throwing the immersion blender at someone.

Because if Jesus could feed 5,000 with five loaves and two fish…

You can politely tell them you need a fing provisioning day.*

Have a wonderful, productive, and stress-free weekend.

(And if not, at least document it—there’s a book in this somewhere.)