In search of a Michelin Monkey
By Chef Raffie. #25/1122.
The original post;
Hello,
On behalf of 28M Benetti I’m looking for qualified and hands on CHEF, who will rein in galley and will be able to provide exceptional meals, preferably Mediterranean cuisine.
Age- 50yo max,
Salary-4500$
Location-Cyprus.
All certificates in hand.
No visa restrictions for EU.
Send your CV and intro my way:
interior8877@gmail.com
My reply to a facebook post;
Good afternoon,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to apply for this prestigious position — cooking Mediterranean cuisine at the level of a Greek deity while simultaneously running the galley like Gordon Ramsay’s long-lost, calmer twin.
I must say, the €4,500 monthly salary offer for a “qualified, hands-on Rockstar Chef” in Europe is truly visionary. It takes real creativity to request Michelin-level execution, international certifications, EU-friendly paperwork, emotional stability (presumably), and the patience of a yoga instructor — all while offering a wage typically seen in… steward departments or perhaps very motivated monkeys in the wild.
As the old saying goes:
If you pay peanuts, don’t be surprised when the galley gets overrun by enthusiastic primates whipping up banana purée.
I truly appreciate ads like this — they remind me why good chefs suddenly “find Jesus” and become land-based, or mysteriously vanish to the Caribbean after reading preference sheets.
Wishing you the very best in your search for a unicorn who cooks like Alain Ducasse, costs like a deckhand, and apparently does not age past 50. What a world.
Warm regards,
Chef Raffie
But tragically over 50 in experience, taste level, and dignity.