Hub - Life After Loss
Life After Loss – Dealing with Grief. With Courtesy of Erica Lay & The Daily Mallorca Bulletin. #25/0379.
Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com
Life After Loss – Dealing with Grief
Grief is an intensely personal and often overwhelming experience. For those in the yachting industry, the challenges are compounded by the unique demands of life at sea. Close quarters, constant travel, and physical distance from family and traditional support networks can make navigating grief while on board particularly difficult.
Everyone experiences grief differently, depending on the nature of the loss—whether it’s the death of a family member, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of a pet or a job. The way someone processes grief can also be shaped by upbringing, beliefs, past experiences, and overall mental and physical health.
One helpful framework for understanding grief is the Kübler-Ross model, which outlines five stages:
1. Denial – Avoiding the reality of the loss.
2. Anger – A powerful emotional outburst or frustration.
3. Bargaining – Trying to make deals or find ways to reverse the loss.
4. Depression – Coming to terms with the inevitability of the loss.
5. Acceptance – Finding a way to move forward.
It’s essential to remember there’s no “right” way to grieve, nor is there a fixed timeline. People move through these stages at their own pace. Some find solace in maintaining their routine, while others may need more time away from work to process their emotions.
On board, grief can feel even more intense. Living and working in such close proximity to others can leave little room for privacy or reflection. Emotional outbursts may ripple through the crew, affecting morale and performance. Taking time off may not always be possible, and being far from loved ones can deepen feelings of isolation.
With such small teams, the loss of a colleague or a loved one affects everyone. Crew may have to balance their own grief with professional responsibilities, which can be emotionally draining for all involved. In times like these, practicing self-care and looking out for one another is more important than ever.
It’s normal to feel sad—and okay to make allowances for that. Routines can help. Getting on with daily duties might feel difficult at first, but structure often provides comfort. Grief is not just emotional—it can have physical effects, too. Fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, body aches, and insomnia are common. The mind and body are deeply connected, so taking care of your physical health is key. Eat well, sleep as much as you can, and—if you feel up to it—get some light exercise.
While alcohol or drugs may feel like a quick escape, they can make things far worse in the long run. Numbing the pain doesn’t make it go away—it just delays the healing process.
Counseling or therapy can be incredibly helpful. Speaking with a professional—especially if grief is developing into something more complex like PTSD or trauma—can make a difference. Many counselors now offer virtual sessions, and there are apps that allow messaging with professionals, providing support even when you’re thousands of miles from home.
If you’re working with someone who is grieving, be understanding. Check in if they seem overwhelmed. Offer to talk, or simply let them know you’re there. Speaking to a captain or department head may also open the door to additional support.
Grief affects everyone differently. What may seem small to one person may feel overwhelming to another. Patience and compassion go a long way—even if you don’t fully understand what someone else is going through.
A helpful analogy often used to describe grief is the “ball in a box” metaphor:
“Grief is like a box with a pain button inside. In the beginning, the ball inside is huge, and every time it moves, it hits that button—constantly and painfully. Over time, the ball gets smaller. It moves around more freely without hitting the button every time, but when it does, it still hurts just as much. Eventually, the ball becomes small enough that it only hits the button now and then—but when it does, it can take you by surprise.”
This analogy reminds us that grief doesn’t disappear. It becomes easier to manage over time—but the pain can still surface unexpectedly.
Where to Turn for Help
There are many resources out there, but a great place to start is:
They offer support via live chat, WhatsApp, or by phone. Please—don’t suffer in silence.
