Application for the Role of Saint Pastry Martyr – I Mean, Pastry Chef
#25/0907.
Job Ad:
Pastry Chef – Male
MY 69m charter, Med-based
Galley team of 5
Cook for 35 guests and 35 crew
Start date: Beginning of June
$4,000 USD/month – seasonal contract with possible extension
Send CV, menu, and photos to: info@pinkevicagency.com
Subject: Application for the Role of Saint Pastry Martyr – I Mean, Pastry Chef
Dear Pinkevic Agency,
Thank you for the fascinating opportunity to sacrifice my skills, sanity, and possibly a few vital organs in the galley of a 69m charter yacht for the low, low price of $4,000/month. I must say, it’s refreshing to see an ad that so openly challenges the boundaries of what’s considered reasonable—or legal—in labor practices.
Cooking for 35 guests and 35 crew? That’s only 70 souls relying on me to produce Michelin-level desserts in a floating inferno, while smiling like I’m on a spa retreat. Add a galley team of five, and I’m guessing the rest are prepping for their own holy beatification as culinary martyrs.
Seasonal contract? Genius. You mean I get to pour my soul into laminated croissants, soufflés, and entremets for the summer and be jobless by September? Oh, joy. Will I at least get a souvenir spoon? Or maybe a therapy voucher?
Now, I’m just curious—was the $4,000 salary decided after someone threw darts at a budget board while blindfolded and laughing hysterically? A seasonal job with that level of responsibility deserves at least twice the remuneration. It’s obvious the person doing the recruiting either doesn’t have any idea what they’re looking for—or they have a very weird sense of humor.
I suppose I should be grateful. After all, this job ad has helped me rediscover my purpose in life: to remind the industry that skilled labor deserves dignified pay. You know, like plumbers. Or the guy who sells sun hats on the beach.
Thank you for this bold social experiment disguised as a job posting. I won’t be applying, but I will be lighting a candle for whoever does.
Warmest regards,
A Chef Who Still Has Self-Respect… For Now