The Great Floating Illusion of Modern Yachting
By Chef Raffie. #26/0022.
The Great Floating Illusion of Modern Yachting
A small observation from the galley window
Somewhere along the way, yachting stopped being about the sea… and became about the marina parking lot and a virtual lifestyle.
You can see it clearly in Florida.
A parade of floating palaces arrives every season. Glossy hulls. Drone footage. Champagne on the bow. A broker whispering sweet financial poetry into the ear of a freshly minted yacht owner who just sold three tech companies and believes Poseidon personally approved the purchase.
“Sir… this vessel is an investment in lifestyle.”
Translation:
Congratulations, you just bought a very expensive hole in the ocean that eats money faster than a morbidly obese human at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
But the real comedy begins after the papers are signed.
Because no one told the owner the small print:
The yacht costs money.
Running the yacht costs more money.
Running it properly costs real money.
And suddenly the budget meeting begins.
Strangely, there is always money for:
- A new Seabob
- Underwater lights visible from space
- A teak deck polished by monks from the Himalayas
- Twelve cases of rosé for Instagram
But when it comes to the crew?
Silence!
Deck shoes?
“Do you really need those?”
Crew food budget?
“Does the owner has to feed the crew”
Safety gear?
“Isn’t the ocean already safe?”
Medical insurance?
“Well… try not to get injured.”
Meanwhile the yacht broker — the same man who sold the dream — is already three marinas away selling another “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” to someone else.
A modern version of a snake oil salesman, except the wagon is now a 40-meter fiberglass miracle financed over fifteen years.
And let’s talk about these boats for a moment.
Because some of them…
My friends…
Some of them are built with the structural integrity of an IKEA wardrobe closet .
Aluminum, plywood, fiberglass, and optimism.
Yet somehow the price tag suggests it was handcrafted by Renaissance shipbuilders blessed by Neptune himself.
But the greatest masterpiece of the modern yacht industry is not the boat.
It’s the illusion of responsibility.
Owners are never involved.
Never.
They exist in a mysterious cloud of plausible deniability.
Crew problems?
“Management handles that.”
Budget cuts?
“Talk to the captain.”
Safety concerns?
“Send an email.”
Yet somehow instructions travel across the Atlantic at the speed of light when the topic is:
“Reduce crew costs.”
Amazing phenomenon.
NASA should study it.
And the loyalty question?
Ah yes, “Loyalty “
The industry once ran on reputation.
Now it runs on WhatsApp availability.
Two years of service.
Storms. Deliveries. Owner trips. Sleepless charters.
But then…
The captain’s golf buddy needs a job.
And suddenly you discover loyalty in yachting now has the shelf life of supermarket sushi.
Gone.
Replaced before the coffee gets cold.
Meanwhile in the marina the show continues.
Owners posing on the bow.
Influencers filming sunsets and glorious displays of buffets elaborated with premade store bought ingredients.
Brokers telling stories about “the lifestyle.”
Below deck the crew quietly calculates if the owner can afford fuel for the next crossing and the real food budget?
Sometimes the answer is no.
Which raises the most uncomfortable question in modern yachting:
Not who owns the yacht.
But
Who can actually afford it.
Because buying a yacht is easy.
Running one with integrity?
That’s where the fantasy sinks faster than a jet ski with a hole in it or a green stew after her 90 days trial period.
But don’t worry.
The photos will look fantastic on Instagram.
And in today’s yachting world…
That seems to be what really matters. 🚤💰