Crew Focus in Mallorca

With Courtesy of Erica Lay & The Mallorca Bulletin. #25/1085.

Erica Lay owner of EL CREW International Yacht Crew Agency http://www.elcrewco.com/ erica@elcrewco.com

𝑫𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆: 𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝑩𝒐𝒔𝒖𝒏

By Erica Lay

𝟬𝟲:𝟬𝟬 – Coffee & Contemplation

Awake before sunrise. Not out of virtue, just stress. Pour instant coffee into my reusable water bottle because the stews have commandeered all the mugs again already. Check the deckhand roster, the to-do list, and the weather. Realise the only thing more unpredictable than the forecast is the junior deckhand’s ability to coil a line.

𝟬𝟳:𝟬𝟬 – Washdown Supervision (and Existential Oversight)

Deckhands are already scrubbing the bow like their lives depend on it. One is polishing the cap rail in a circular motion. We’ve been over this. I correct him with the kind of dead-eyed calm only caffeine and trauma can produce. The junior deckhand asks if we can “just use a pressure washer on the varnish.” I smile. He’ll learn. Deckhand 3 asks if we “really have to rinse the salt off every day.” I say no. Just every day we want the boat not to dissolve.

𝟬𝟴:𝟭𝟱 – The First Crisis of the Day

Chief stew radios in: “The guest thinks the kayak smells weird.” Deckie 2 looks panic-stricken. I tell him to Febreze it and act like it’s normal. Because on this boat? It is.

𝟬𝟴:𝟮𝟱 – The Second Crisis of the Day

I ask who used the stainless polish on the cushions. No one makes eye contact. I now understand how substitute teachers feel.

𝟬𝟵:𝟯𝟬 – Toy Time

Break out the tender, SeaBobs, SUPs, and enough inflatables to qualify us as a bouncy castle company. I supervise while the junior deckie fumbles with a lashing strap like it’s a Rubik’s Cube made of elastic.

𝟭𝟬:𝟰𝟱 – Training Time (aka Herding Cats)

Try to run a knot-tying session. Deckhand 3 asks if he can “just watch a YouTube video instead.” I pause long enough to make them uncomfortable, then carry on. They’ll thank me when they’re trying to tie a bowline in 40 knots in front of guests whilst crying inside.

𝟭𝟮:𝟯𝟬 – Lunch and Logistics

The chef offers “crew salad.” That’s code for lettuce, rage, and the lingering shame of yesterday’s pizza. I eat half, pretend I’m full, and then write up tomorrow’s deck job list while staring out the porthole like a prisoner in a luxury jail.

𝟭𝟰:𝟬𝟬 – Supervised Polishing (Emotional and Physical)

Time to teach the team the art of stainless without streaks. Deckie 1 uses half a bottle of polish on a single handrail. Deckie 2 is polishing a stanchion that doesn’t exist. Deckie 3 is missing. I find him rearranging fenders to “make them look vibey.” I die a little inside.

𝟭𝟲:𝟬𝟬 – The Anchor Ballet

Guests want to move the boat “just a little” for the sunset view. Anchor up. Anchor down. My radio explodes with questions like “Is this good?” No. It never is. But we move anyway because the boss saw a dolphin, and now we’re chasing a National Geographic moment.

𝟭𝟵:𝟬𝟬 – The Beanbag Ordeal

We set up for sundowners on the bow. The wind picks up. A beanbag hits a guest in the face. Everyone looks at me like I summoned it. I swear I didn’t. I wish I had that kind of power. A guest asks what I actually do all day and if working on a yacht is “like being on an endless holiday”. I answer with a laugh that sounds suspiciously hysterical.

𝟭𝟴:𝟯𝟬 – When the Sun Goes Down

A guest asks me what time the sunset starts. I point at the sky, and tell them “when the sun starts to go down.” They nod like I’ve revealed a deep maritime secret.

𝟭𝟵:𝟬𝟬 – Evening Checks and Barely Contained Despair

Run the deck checks, tie a perfect cleat hitch (to show off), and fix the flagpole that Deckie 2 somehow dislodged while “adjusting the ensign height for aesthetic balance.” I make a note to revoke his access to adjectives.

𝟮𝟬:𝟯𝟬 – Night Mode Engaged

The deck crew eat a late dinner in five minutes of silence broken only by someone whispering, “I can’t feel my hands.” I tell a joke. No one laughs. Deckie 1 says “Ok Boomer.” I’m 27. Good times. I live for these bonding moments.

𝟮𝟯:𝟬𝟬 – Day’s End. Kind of.

Final check of the toys, the lines, the fenders, and my sanity. Realise I’ve walked 14,000 steps and achieved inner peace through sheer repetition. Tomorrow: same chaos, different stains.

𝟬𝟬:𝟬𝟬 – Lights Out

Lay in bed wondering if I remembered to tie off the tender’s secondary mooring line. Decide I probably did. Fall asleep halfway through the mental checklist. Dream of a crew that understands chamois technique and respects the beanbags.

Let me know if you’d like a companion visual, crew illustration, or social media version of this diary—this deserves to go viral.

• Category: Yachting Culture